The wrong man
by ILoveDownton
Summary: Cobert AU. Cora Levinson is not in love with any of her suitors, and now she is faced with the decision of who to marry; the charming Robert Crawley, or Edward Lawson, the suitor with the best prospects. The story of what could have happened if Cora hadnt realsied her love for Robert sooner.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N- So ive always wondered what it would have been like if Cora had not fallen in love with Robert from the off, and if this would have meant her mother could have persuaded her to marry someone else. I've wanted to post this for a while, so here it is. Hope you enjoy. **

Cora Levinson sat in her room thinking about the past few weeks, about the decision she had to make. She had come to England to get married, and she needed to get married for a title. She had always thought that she would have a fairytale courtship and a fairytale wedding, and she would marry her fairytale prince. But when her mother had sat her down and said that they were going to England so she could become an aristocrat, Cora knew that all of her dreams of fairytales and princes would not come true. They were for childhood stories, and as her mother had told her- not for real life. So when she boarded the ocean liner for England, she put her hopes and dreams to the back of her mind and tried to focus on the title she would have. But she was naive, and subconsciously she had still expected that she would find her prince, just this time, an English prince. But she hadn't been that lucky. She hadn't fallen desperately in love with any of her suitors. She had suitors, and they seemed to be nice enough, but she wasn't in love with any of them, not really. And now she was faced with the decisions of what to do, of who to marry.

She moved from her bed and went to sit on her window sill and gazed out of the window. It was a beautiful day, which in Cora's opinion was rare in England. Her thoughts wandered to the last time it had been this nice of a day. That day she had spent some time with Robert Crawley. He was the future Earl of Grantham; he had a title which was what Cora wanted. But so did her other suitors, Edward Lawson was a future Duke, and his estate was bigger than Robert Crawley's. Those two gentlemen were the ones with the most prospects, and who she had to decide between, she had to decide which one she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. She was sure they were both going to propose to her, in fact she was positive, and she now had to decide who she would say yes to.

They both seemed pleasant; admittedly Robert Crawley was more attractive and kinder than Edward Lawson. Robert Crawley had soft brown curls and striking blue eyes, as opposed to Edward Lawson's plainer looks. But she couldn't base a marriage around looks, no matter how charming his smile was. Cora shook her head to try and focus on the task ahead of her- her marriage. Yes Edward Lawson's estate was bigger and his title grander and it was no secret her mother wanted her to marry him for this reason, but Robert Crawley seemed nicer. He asked questions, and he seemed genuinely interested in her and her opinions. But was that enough? A few months ago she would have jumped at the chance to marry someone like him, but now it was different- she was different. Her mother, and what her mother wanted had changed her and she had influenced her moral judgement. She no longer looked at marriage as a way to spend her life with someone, but as an opportunity and a life choice. The voice in her head echoed the words her mother had often spoke to her over the season, words her mother often called 'the words of reason'. Cora had often doubted if her mother's outlook on marriage was the right one, but now she was thinking whether it was the right one, whether she should marry Edward Lawson simply for a better title and better connections.

Cora's musings were interrupted when Martha Levinson came into her room. "Cora?" She said, looking round, and after spotting her on the window sill she went over and sat on the chair near her. "I've been looking for you."

"I was here." Cora shrugged.

"Yes, I can see that now." Martha replied sarcastically. "Anyway, what are you doing up here?"

"Thinking." Cora sighed, turning to face her mother.

"What about?"

"What do you think I've been thinking about?" Cora snapped.

"Your marriage." Martha sighed. Her daughter had been going over this for over a week, when she had been sure the two men would propose. Martha of course wanted the best for her daughter, and that meant marrying the gentleman with the best title, oldest family, and the one with the best connections and prospects, and that meant marrying Edward Lawson. She knew that her daughter found Robert Crawley more attractive, and thought he was kinder, but that didn't matter. Edward Lawson was nice enough, he may not ask as many questions, but he was fairly pleasant, and that was enough for marriage. So over the past week, Martha had tried to persuade Cora, and she was hoping that it had started to work.

"Yes my marriage. Or rather, about the groom." Cora turned away from her mother and returned to gaze out of her window. She knew who her mother wanted her to say yes to, and in a way that was weighting her decision too. She worried that if she married Robert Crawley her mother would never forgive her, and would always see her as someone who ruined her prospects. "I'm so confused." She sighed.

"Why are you confused? From my point of view this is one of the easiest decisions you will ever make. One suitor may be more attractive and may be slightly more inquisitive, but the other will be a Duke- a Duke Cora." Martha watched as her words circulated in her daughters thoughts. "Don't you want that Cora, you, a Duchess?"

"It would be nice, but-"

"Nice!" Martha interrupted. "Nice? Cora it would be more than nice, it would be the most successful outcome imaginable."

"That may be true, but what about Robert Crawley? He would make me a Countess, and a year ago I didn't know the difference between a Countess and a Duchess." Cora reminded her mother. Back in America she had had no idea what the difference was between titles, in her mind they were all part of the aristocracy and that was all that mattered.

"But you know the difference now Cora. Don't forget that. Cora you've changed."

"Don't remind me." Cora huffed, standing up and walking to the other side of the room. She started massaging her temples; all the thoughts and decisions were giving her a headache. "I just cannot help thinking that I haven't changed for the better- that my moral values have lessened."

"Cora, it is not bad to want what's best for you." Martha told her. "It just makes you stronger and more independent."

"But we are talking about my life mother, my future. We are talking about who I will spend the rest of my life with." Cora spun on her heels so she was directly facing Martha.

"I am well aware of that Cora. But we are not just talking about your future are we?" Martha stared straight into her daughters eyes, knowing full well that this tactic would work.

"What do you mean? Of course we are talking about my future." Cora said, throwing her hands up in the air.

"Your children Cora. You need to think about your children's futures." Martha had knew this would work, Cora had always wanted children and reminding her that she needed to provide what was best for them would definitely sway her decision. She was reminding her that it was her duty to marry the best, simply because one day it would be her children's.

"My children." Cora repeated. Her mother was right; whatever she decided now would affect her children, not only was she deciding her future, she was deciding theirs. And it was her duty to provide the best for any children that she would have.

"Yes Cora, your children. Marrying a duke would mean that your children would inherit that title. Don't you want that?"

"Of course I want that, but what difference is their between a Countess title and a Duchess title?" Cora's voice had become shaky; her resolution had become even more shrouded. Her mother's words and ideas had sunk in and had become to change her mind, and had begun to make her decision for her.

"Don't try and tell yourself that Cora, because we both know you don't believe it." Martha was right, Cora didn't believe that. She hadn't been in England long, but even she had seen what difference a title could make. "It is your duty to marry Edward Lawson Cora, not only for yourself, but for me, your father, your brother, and most importantly, your future children." That was it. And Martha knew it. Martha knew that she had changed her daughters mind; simply by the look on her face.

Cora looked at her mother, the look of absolute determination in her eyes. Cora's worst fear was marrying the wrong man; she didn't want to marry merely for a title, or merely for charm and looks. But Martha's words bore into her, and Cora couldn't help but think that if she married Edward Lawson she wouldn't be marrying the wrong man, far from it; she would be securing her future and her future children's future. "Alright mother," Cora said slowly, "I will marry Edward Lawson."

"Excellent," Martha clapped her hands together like a young child, "you will not regret it Cora." She went over to kiss her daughter on the cheek, and then left the room beaming, feeling accomplished. As Cora watched her mother go she sincerely hoped that she was right. She hoped that Edward Lawson was not the wrong man, and that she would not regret saying no to Robert Crawley.

-xxx-

Robert sat in his room turning over the engagement ring he would offer her; the family heirloom that he would offer to Cora Levinson, with the hope that it would be a symbol of how much he cared for her. Because he did care for her, very much. Perhaps more than deemed appropriate at this point. He remembers the first time he saw her as if it were yesterday; she had been wearing a dark purple dress which had highlighted her pale complexion. She had looked over at him and smiled a smile that he has been thinking of ever since. He had watched her that night, and all throughout the season. He had watch her grow more confident in her surroundings, he had seen her capture the hearts of all those around her- including his. She had completely captured his heart; he thought about her all the time. She made him feel something he hadn't thought was possible, and he liked it.

Most importantly, she was different. Yes she was American, but she was different in another ways. She had opinions, and she wasn't afraid to convey those opinions. When he had called on her, he had taken her for a walk and for some reason they had started to discuss politics. He had originally thought that it would be a boring topic for them to discuss, but she had completely surprised him when she started talking about her thoughts on the current political campaign. She was quite liberal and her thoughts had completely opposed his but she didn't seem to care. Unlike other girls she didn't cower and change her opinions to suit his; and he liked that about her.

His mother may not agree that she is the best option, she favoured Catherine Walker. But she was plain and ordinary compared to Cora Levinson. She agreed with him on everything, and although she would probably make a good countess, he knew she would not make a good wife. He had heard rumours about her, rumours he could never tell his mother. But whether the rumours were true or not, he knew that she wouldn't make a good wife, not for him. No one could, except her. She had the money they needed to get Downton out of the hole it was in, and for that reason his parents should be thrilled.

He looked down at the ring and he couldn't help but think of it on her finger, her delicate and perfect finger. Everything about her was perfect, and he knew that she was the right woman, for him.

**A/N- I'll try and update as soon as possible, as this is going to be a long story. Please let me know what you think, thank you!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N- So all my exams are finally out of the way so I hope to update a lot more**

"Cora, are you ready?" Martha asked, opening her daughter's door to find her sitting at the vanity with Banks, her maid, adjusting her hair.

"Yes, mother, I won't be a minute." Cora answered, looking at her mother through her mirror. Martha simply rolled her eyes, she'd heard that before, she thought. But she nodded and exited the room. Cora turned her gaze to her hair, which Banks was just finishing.

"Is that ok my lady?" Banks asked, stepping back to review her work.

"That's perfect, thank you Banks." Cora nodded. "But before you go do you know where the white gloves are, because they're not with the others." Cora turned around in her chair and faced her maid.

"They're downstairs my lady as I was mending them earlier, would you like me to fetch them?"

"Yes please, but don't let my mother see you or she'll come and fetch me." Cora giggled, as she turned back to her vanity and dabbed some lavender scent on her wrists and neck. She stood up and walked to the full length mirror in her room. She looked herself up and down, reviewing every bead and jewel on her cream dress. They were attending Lady Morton's ball tonight, and she was wearing one of her favourite gowns. It was a beautiful cream colour with beads and jewels along the hem, waist and neckline. It was tightly fitted on the waist, so it fell beautifully over the hips. She spun around and the hem rose upwards slightly, and the light bounced off the jewels and glittered all around the room. Cora loved this dress, and she loved the way it looked on her. She turned to the door just as Banks came in cradling the white gloves.

"Here you are my lady; the stitching on the second finger may be a little loose." She warned, handing them to her mistress.

"Thank you Banks, I'll make sure to be careful." Cora put the gloves on and pulled them up her arms, to just above the elbow. She looked at her reflection in the mirror once more and gave a final nod. "I'll ring for you when I get back Banks, now I better go down before mother comes back up." Just as Cora said that her mother opened the door: "Cora, we have to leave."

"I'm coming." Martha turned and Cora smoothed down her dress and followed after her mother.

"My lady," Banks called just as Cora was leaving the room, "My lady I just wanted to say that you look lovely tonight." The older woman smiled kindly at her young mistress, she knew that she has wanted to find the right dress for tonight and she had wanted to look beautiful, and she certainly did.

"Thank you Banks." Cora smiled, blushing. She smiled once more and then turned and followed her mother down to the carriage.

During the carriage ride there Cora sat staring out of the window thinking. She had wanted to look nice tonight because she needed to ensure Edward Lawson's attention remained on her. She was sure he was going to propose, but she needed to keep his interest on her all the time. But as the carriage drew ever closer to Lady Morton's house she began to feel apprehensive about the whole evening. Not only would Edward Lawson be there, but Robert Crawley would be there too. She enjoyed his company, very much, but every time they were in the same company she felt guilty because in her mind, she had led him on and was about to drop him. When she had voiced this to her mother, she had simply said to lead him off slowly and to not return his advances, and that soon his attention would be on some other young girl. Cora had agreed, because it would be the most heartfelt way of doing things, but she knew that in her heart she didn't want to do it. She didn't love him, she knew that. And she had already made her decision of who to marry. But, she found that she still wanted his attention, she enjoyed his company, she enjoyed talking with him, he was inquisitive, intelligent and thoughtful. He could keep a conversation; keep her interested in a conversation, more than anyone else. Cora couldn't help but think of how Edward Lawson couldn't do this, not as much as Robert Crawley anyway. But she pushed this out of her mind quickly.

She returned her attention back to the window and saw that it was just coming to a halt outside Lady Morton's London residence. A footman opened the carriage door and her and her mother stepped out onto the stone steps. They then went inside and they were greeted by Lord and Lady Morton, after the initial introductions they were shown into the ballroom. It was beautifully decorated, and was perfectly proportioned, and was all centred on the crystal chandelier which hung from the ceiling. "Its stunning." Cora murmured.

"It really is." Martha agreed, stepping further into the ballroom and looking around at all the guests. "Oh look, there's Mrs. Peterson." Martha said, spotting Gwen Peterson and her husband standing near the French doors. She rushed over and left Cora still in the middle of the ballroom. Unlike her mother, she didn't really like Mrs. Peterson and didn't really want to speak to her, but she didn't wish to be left alone standing in the middle of the ballroom. So she decided to follow her mother, at least until the dancing started.

Later in the evening Cora was sitting on a chair in the far corner of the room when she looked over by the brass mantelpiece and to her surprise saw both Edward Lawson and Robert Crawley talking together. She suddenly felt a guilt wrenching feeling in the pit of her stomach looking over at Robert Crawley, whom she would eventually say no to, and seeing him talking to Edward Lawson made it worse because he was the one she had settled on.

Standing next to each other it was obvious who was the more attractive of the two, Robert Crawley's striking features stood out next to Edward Lawson's plainer blonde hair and smaller frame. She studied them both very carefully, Robert's larger frame made him seem more powerful than Edward, even though Edward was the future Duke. She couldn't help but think that he would protect her if she was wrapped up in his arms, if she were to tangle herself in his embrace, her heart started beating faster as she thought of more intimate moments, and she had to physically shake herself to stop herself thinking anymore of a man who would soon merely be an acquaintance. In her musings she had failed to notice that Robert Crawley had excused himself from Edward's company and was in fact walking in her direction. "Miss Levinson," Robert announced himself, causing Cora to jump slightly and blink several times.

"Lord Downton." She smiled. "I didn't see you." She explained, blushing slightly.

"I'm sorry for sneaking up on you." He laughed. "I just wanted to ask you if you would do me the honour of dancing with me." He tried to flash her a charming smile so she would take him up on his invitation, because he wanted to dance with her very much.

Cora looked around the ballroom and saw couples gathering on the floor as the violins began to play a soft tune. She then looked up into his welcoming blue eyes and she knew that she wanted to dance with him, even if their courtship would come to an end soon, she enjoyed dancing with him, and as her mother had said, she had to lead him off slowly. "Of course Lord Downton, I would like that very much." He smiled warmly at her before taking her hand and leading her to the middle of the floor. He placed his hand on her back and she placed her hand on his shoulder. Robert would be lying if he said he didn't feel a tingle down his spine at her touch and close proximity. As he began guiding her around the floor he could smell the lavender scent on her neck, tantalising him. All he wanted was to pull her close and never let her go, and he hoped that one day he could. His mind wondered to the engagement ring that was in his nightstand drawer, safe, until the time was right.

Cora looked up into Roberts deep blue eyes, his thoughts seemed to be elsewhere, but Cora's thoughts were very much in the present. She couldn't help but compare him to Edward, whom she had danced with earlier in the evening. Edward's embrace was not as firm as Robert's, who made her feel safe and secure in his arms. Robert was taller than Edward, and his shoulder was the perfect height for her to rest her head on, and to nuzzle her nose into the crook of his neck- stop! Cora thought, it would do no good to think about things that would never happen. The title, she thought, a Duchess, I will be a Duchess, and my children will inherit that title, she made a promise to think of that whenever thoughts of her and Robert Crawley entered her mind. "You dance well Lord Downton." Cora remarked, wishing to change her course of imaginings.

"Thank you Miss Levinson, it is what happens when you have a sister who made you practice waltzes with her when we were small." He chuckled, as did Cora, before leaning in close and whispering in her ear; "I would appreciate it if you kept that between me and you." Cora could feel Roberts breathe on her skin and she wished that it had not had effect on her.

"Of course Lord Downton, I assure you your secret is safe with me."

"Thank you, I would hate to know people were laughing at the thought of me waltzing round a nursery, and then playing a game of dolls after." He smiled, leaning back to the proper position. "But, let's change that rather embarrassing topic..." Robert went on to ask her about more general topics like the weather, and they then went on to discuss American weather, and America in general. The conversation was easy, and at no point seemed forced or strained, unlike her conversations with Edward Lawson. When they had danced, he rarely spoke without prompt and even then it was as if he would rather be silent. Although at times silence could be a blessing it wasn't a comfortable silence with him, it was awkward and made Cora feel uneasy. How could she live like that? Because he will be a Duke, making me a Duchess, she answered herself forcefully. He is a Duke Cora kept thinking over and over again, trying to make her decision more assured.

As they danced and talked Robert could not help but feel entirely at ease. He felt comfortable with her, he got on with her, and she could hold a conversation better than any other woman he had met. And she was certainly the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her porcelain skin and dark locks made her stand out from all the others. She could capture his attention without even trying and his gaze never strayed from her for long. And she looked exceptionally beautiful tonight; her cream dress made her eyes sparkle more than ever. Robert loved being this close to her, holding her in his arms, smelling her perfume, and hearing her dress swish along the marble floor. She was perfect and never more so when she was in his embrace, he thought.

The violins slowly faded and the couples began departing the floor, and Robert directed her off the floor and took her to the chair by her mother. He reached for her hand and kissed it tenderly. "Thank you Miss Levinson, I hope we can do it again soon." He smiled at her and after bidding her goodbye, he went to join a group of men in the far corner. As soon as he left Cora let out a breathe she felt like she had been holding in for an eternity. The guilt wrenching feeling returned at his words, _'I_ _hope_ _we_ _can_ _do_ _it_ _again_ _soon.' _Cora felt so heartless, knowing that whatever they had would come to an end. Only a few more dances, but no calls or walks, that was all over. She had leaded him on, made it seem like she would marry him one day. She had been dishonest, she was going to drop him, him, one of the few who had made her feel truly comfortable in this foreign country. And what for? For the sake of a higher and more honourable title?

Her chest started to feel tighter, and her breathing became heavier. The room started to feel hot and she became light headed and dizzy. She needed some fresh air, it would help her think. She murmured to her mother that she needed some air and then she rushed to the French doors, and stepped onto the veranda. The cool air was welcoming, and Cora stepped further out onto the porch and held her arms out slightly so the air could have access to everywhere. Cora felt so guilty, she felt utterly dishonest, selfish and cruel. And worse, she felt as though her mother's thirst for a powerful title had changed her, changed her morals. When she had come to England she would have jumped at the chance to marry an Earl, but seeing what difference being a Duke could be had changed her. But it wasn't her selfishness, it was for her future children, she reminded herself once more. But as she kept repeating it, the surety of her decision to marry Edward became less secure and more questionable. She didn't love him, just like she didn't love Edward, but the only upper hand Edward has was the fact that he would be a Duke. Was that enough? Cora thought, but her thoughts were interrupted when she heard footsteps behind her. She turned and saw Robert himself. "Lord Downton."

"Miss Levinson." Robert said, surprised. The smile that he had been wearing vanished when he saw the state she was obviously in. She was clutching her stomach and she was breathing rather heavily, her brow was creased and she looked close to tears. "Miss Levinson, I don't mean to sound impertinent, but are you quite alright."

Cora noticed the concern in his eyes, and it made her feel even worse. "Yes, yes I'm fine." She lied, standing up straight and giving him a faint smile. "I just felt a little hot in there, and needed to cool down."

Robert wasn't entirely assured by her explanation, but he didn't wish to pry further. "I felt much the same." Robert said, stepping further. "I needed some fresh air to clear the mind." He smiled.

"Yes, and there's only so much idle chit chat one can stand."

"I agree with you Miss Levinson, it can make social occasions rather tiresome in my opinion." He looked over his shoulder back to the group of men he had just left. "Though, it can sometimes be a welcoming change." He turned back to her and hoped she sensed the underlying meaning of his words. And she did, she sensed what he was trying to say by the way he looked at her.

"Yes," she said slowly, "very welcoming indeed." She tried not to get too lost in his eyes, his thoughtful and inquisitive eyes, the most perfect blue she had ever seen. She stared into them, slightly open mouthed, she couldn't count how many things were going through her mind at that moment. She couldn't think, but she felt herself moving closer to him. He seemed confused at first, but didn't say anything. As she moved forward, with a longing look in her eye, he didn't want to say anything in case he ruined the moment. She stepped closer, still not sure why, but soon she felt herself standing face to face with him. So close they could feel each other's breath on their skin. Standing so close all Robert wanted to do was to lean in and kiss her softly, and strangely Cora felt the same. She wanted to see what it would be like to kiss him, to quench her wonderings and be done with it. If she kissed him she could say goodbye, couldn't she? Kissing him would just lead him on more, and would make her feel even worse. No. She couldn't do that, she couldn't lead him on even more. She looked into his eyes once more, and she knew that she couldn't hurt him, and that meant stopping this before it went too far. "I'm sorry," she mumbled, stepping back, "I'm so sorry Lord Downton." And with that she turned and rushed back through the French doors. Leaving Robert completely an utterly dumbfounded at what had transpired between them.

**A/N- Let me know what you think xxx**


	3. Chapter 3

Robert couldn't sleep. All he could think of was her, Miss. Levinson, or Cora as he secretly liked to call her. Every time he closed his eyes all he could see was her face. He could see her every time he opened them too, but when he opened his eyes he was more aware of his surroundings. More aware that he was alone in his room, and not lost somewhere with Cora. Seeing the outline of his four poster bed and drawers allowed him to hold some constraint over his imagining's of her. Though he still couldn't help his mind wonder to her, to how it had felt with her in his arms. The warmth of her skin against his. The scent of her perfume scenting all the air around him. The sweet humming's of her voice as she spoke. And then the most intense of his feelings, was what he had felt when she was close to him when they were outside on the veranda. The way she seemed absolutely oblivious to her surroundings and the only thing she was aware of was him. But she had seemed dazed, unknowing of what was happening, and Robert could only hope it was because her feelings had overpowered her whole being.

For a second he had thought she would kiss him and make all his dreams of the past few months. That she would press her soft, red lips against his. But before he could lean in any closer she had stepped back and murmured a swift apology before running inside. He had wanted to tell her that there was no reason to apologise, but by the time he had revived himself from the amazement of the experience she had become lost in the crowd in the ballroom. He had followed her as soon as he was able to move, but he couldn't find her. She wasn't with her mother, or with any group in the room, she had completely disappeared. He had continued to look around all night and enquiring after her in casual conversation, but still no sign of her. Later in the evening he had noticed that Mrs. Levinson had also left, so he had come to the saddening conclusion that she had left. His heart had sunk knowing that he wouldn't see her again that night, or for the remainder of the week. Instead their encounter had ended on a confusing note, whilst Robert had marvelled at her closeness, he didn't know why she had left so suddenly, or why the situation had even transpired the way it had.

Robert sat up in bed, rubbing his temples the way he always did when he was stressed. He was mad at himself for not following her sooner, for not catching her arm as she ran away. He should have followed her immediately, asked her why she had looked so saddened and guilty as she pulled away, whilst being mixed with pleasure. At the time he had been convinced that it was only loving emotions that had guided her so close to him, but after constantly reviewing the event he couldn't help but wonder if that was all. He had looked into her eyes when she pulled away, there was intensity behind them that Robert couldn't identify, and he really wanted to. He wanted to comfort her, to have her explain how she felt.

Robert swung his legs out of bed and started fumbling around in his bedside table drawer, and then he found what he was looking for; the velvet ring box that held the engagement ring. He pulled it out and slowly opened it. He traced his finger over the diamond in the middle, and then traced the remainder of the golden band. Robert hoped one day he could be the one to listen to all her problems. Cora was beautiful and he couldn't help but imagine being with her in lustful ways, but she was kind and understanding, and Robert wanted to be the same for her. He wanted to be her husband in every way possible, and as he squeezed the band he wished that one day soon he could be.

-xxx-

Cora tossed and turned, the sheets becoming wrapped around her. She couldn't sleep. The haziness of thoughts wouldn't seize. After hours of trying to fall asleep and forcing her eyes shut she finally gave in and got out of bed. Untangling the sheets from around her legs she instead placed the sheet around her shoulders. She snuggled into sheets comfort and shuffled over to the window sill. She stood for a few moments staring out at the quiet London Street. It was so different from in the day, when it was brimming with activity. When it was dark and silent Cora could fully appreciate the simpler things, like the swaying of the trees or the beauty of the stars above her. It was such a comforting scene, and it helped her reflect on her current confusing state.

She hadn't stopped thinking about her almost kiss with Robert Crawley. How she had involuntarily stepped towards him, unaware of everything except what her heart was telling her. She had wanted to kiss him so much, more than she had wanted to kiss anyone before. But just as she was about to press her lips against his, her head had told her to step away. She knew that it was the right thing to do, she already felt guilty enough, and if she had kissed him she would feel a whole lot worse now.

When she had apologised for her behaviour she had ran inside, trying to control her emotions. She hadn't even acknowledged her mother who had called after her; instead she had found a guest bedroom which was unoccupied. She had gone straight to the vanity, which had a small, but useable mirror placed on top. She had reviewed her reflection, and wiped away any stray tears. She had been so confused, she had convinced herself that she could just forgot about all encounters with Robert Crawley, but she had been wrong. And even worse, she had created an encounter which was even worse. She had given him hope, hope of being with her, of kissing her.

She collapsed on the window sill, pulling her knees up under her chin. She encompassed her legs in her arms, and held them tight. She didn't know what to do. She felt guilty, but a part of her was grateful for what had happened and that part of her yearned for more, yearned for the kiss that almost happened. She had sat in that guest room for a short amount of time, trying to compose herself enough to be able to go back to the party. But it hadn't worked. No amount of deep breathes could handle her emotions, for she knew as soon as she saw him she would break down. So she crept back downstairs and cornered her mother, begging her to take her home under the pretence of an awful headache. It wasn't a lie, her head had been pounding for the remainder of the evening, and it was worse now. She looked around the room for a jug of water and she spotted one on her vanity table. She crossed the room and poured herself a glass. It wasn't cold any more, but it soothed her aching head slightly.

"What should I do?" She said to the empty room, I need someone to talk to, she thought, someone that wasn't necessarily her mother. She gazed her eyes around her room and her eyes settled on the teddy bear on her bedside table. It had been a gift from her father when she was a girl, and Cora had taken it everywhere with her ever since. She moved and picked the scruffy object up. It was worth a shot, she thought, it was worth it to just get everything out. "What should I do?" She repeated, directing it to the bear in her hands. "I don't love him, I know that. But I can't help but want him. More than I want Edward Lawson, but it is he who shall be my husband, it is he who shall be the one I marry." Cora shook her head, realising how ridiculous talking to an inanimate object was, but she couldn't help but continue. " I'm going to marry Edward Lawson, but I cannot help but think of him, of Robert Crawley," she sighed, "and the problem is I don't know how to stop. Maybe I should have not stopped myself from kissing him, maybe I would be able to stop thinking of him now, but then I would feel worse, wouldn't I?" Cora looked down at the bear, almost as if she was expecting an answer. "I wish you could answer back." Cora whispered. It was times like this that Cora realised that she was still young, that a part of her was still a child. She was too young to handle such things, too young to think through everything, and the worst part was she didn't even know what she thought, and what she was trying to think about. Was she thinking about changing her mind and marrying Robert Crawley? Or was she merely trying to think of how to control her thoughts of him? Cora sighed exasperatedly, she was just going around in circles, she had to face this with a clear head tomorrow, and no matter how much she didn't want to, she had to speak with her mother about it.

**A/N- I know this one's pretty short but I just wanted to get a glimpse of what they were thinking about after the end of the last chapter x**


	4. Chapter 4

Cora woke rather suddenly the next morning. When she had gone back to bed last night she had managed to fall asleep, but a rather strange dream had pulled her out of her slumber. She had been in a large room; it had looked like a ballroom except there hadn't been anyone there. She had wandered around trying to find someone, but then someone found her. A gentleman had tapped her on the shoulder and asked her to dance, Cora recognised the man and looking back it looked as if it was Robert Crawley, but Cora didn't want to believe it. But she danced with him, for what seemed like an eternity. But then he murmured something and began to walk away. Cora didn't know what he had said, and just as she was about to ask, she woke with a start. As she rubbed her eyes Cora was thinking about what he might have said, she knew it was only a dream but in the back of her mind she couldn't help thinking that it meant something. As she got up to ring for Banks all the confusing thoughts from the night before caught up with her. What would she do about her marriage? And did this dream mean anything? Cora shook her head and sat down at her vanity and loosened her hair from its braid. Last night Cora had decided that she must speak to her mother, although she knows her mother wouldn't condone her swaying decision, but she had to voice her opinion to someone.

"Good morning, milady." Banks said as she swooped through the door.

"Good morning Banks." Cora yawned, still tired from her unsettled night. Banks took in the bags under her mistress's eyes and the deflated look on her face, and said, "Did you not sleep well milady?"

"No, I had a rather rough night actually," seeing her maid's immediate concern Cora shook her hand, "but nothing to worry about, nothing a brisk walk won't cure."

"If you're sure." Banks smiled and went over and began to brush Cora's hair. Cora caught her maid's reflection in the mirror and she noted how she still seemed to look rather concerned. She couldn't help but smile at this, Banks always seemed to have her best interests at heart, and was always neutral whenever Cora wished to speak with her about something. Maybe that was it, Cora thought, I need someone who's neutral in the matter of my marriage, and not someone who will try and influence my decision because they want something out of it. And with that Cora spun around to face a rather surprised Banks. "Banks," Cora questioned, "may I ask you a rather strange question?"

"Erm, of course milady."

"Well, it's just that," Cora tried to think of a way to speak of this without revealing too much of her inner thoughts, although she trusted Banks, she didn't want her knowing everything. So instead she opened with a question, "You've never married, have you Banks?"

"No milady," Banks now knew where the conversation was headed, "I haven't."

"Well, if you had the choice of who to marry, that is have to decide between two different people," Cora stuttered, "would you sooner marry someone with money and better prospects, or someone who made you smile, and seemed, well, to have a nicer nature?" Cora looked up expectantly, hoping she had expressed her thoughts clearly enough.

"Well, if it was me milady I would marry someone who I thought could make me the happiest. For some people that would be to have more money, and to others, including me, it would be to marry someone who made me smile and who was nicer to me." Banks smiled, and Cora could only guess that she may have been thinking about a love like this that she had experienced once, but she didn't dare probe any further. Instead she nodded and digested her words, before thanking her. Cora thought over what she had said whilst she got ready for breakfast. She knew that hers and Banks situation was different, but the concept was still the same; marriage. Although Edward did have more money, she had a feeling that he could not give her what Robert could. Robert could make her smile, he was kind to her in a way that Edward wasn't, and although her mother would say that you cannot base a marriage on that, Cora was different to her mother, she had different priorities. And it wasn't as if Robert was a commoner, he was still going to be an Earl, a very valued title among the aristocracy.

When Banks had finished getting Cora ready she again thanked her for her discretion, before going down to breakfast with her mother. During this time she would talk to her mother and tell her of her changed decision, thank goodness she hadn't let it get out of hand she thought to herself. "Good morning mother." Cora greeted as she seated herself next to Martha, who was intently reading a letter. "Is it from Papa?" Cora asked.

"It is, and you have one too." Martha smiled, nodding to the brown envelope on the silver plate in the centre of the table.

"How nice," Cora smiled, "I haven't had a letter from Papa for some weeks." She reached for the letter and took in the familiar picture of her father's hand in which he had written her name and their London address. When she opened it, it read;

_My dear Cora,_

_I hope London is still to your taste, and that you are still enjoying the foreign splendour. Anyway, I hear congratulations are in order, your mother tells me you are engaged to a Mr. Edward Lawson, future Duke of Suffolk. I still couldn't believe it when your mother wrote to me and told me, it's quite extraordinary to think of my only daughter as a future Duchess. I'm sure the situations will give you much happiness. After all, this is exactly the title you aspired for when you went to London in the first place. What a success, my dear. I'm sure your mother is over the moon at this outcome. I must say, I look forward to the wedding, a grand celebration, which you would be the centre of. I am so proud, my darling girl, and I will see you when the time comes for your engagement to end and your marriage to begin. _

_Love, your Papa_

Cora read and re-read the letter, trying to take in its contents. She looked up to her mother, with a haunted expression on her face, and then back down to the letter. It was filled with such pride at an engagement which hadn't even happened yet, and one which Cora wanted to assure her mother would never happen. How could she do this? How could she have written to her father telling him of this? "Is something the matter Cora?" Martha asked, as she saw her daughter's hands begin to shake.

"Yes mother, in fact there is." She snapped, shaking the letter for emphasis. "I have just received a letter from back home, offering congratulations for my engagement to Mr. Edward Lawson, future Duke of Suffolk." Cora turned to face her mother, who was wearing a rather guilty expression, but with a small smile playing at the corners of her lips. "Do you want to tell me about your involvement in this?" She threw the letter rather forcefully across the table so it landed in front of her mother. "Well?"

"Well what? I thought I should let your father know of your engagement, and-"

"Engagement?" Cora scoffed. "He hasn't even proposed yet mother, or has that slipped your mind?"

"Now now Cora, he will propose, there's no worry there, and I thought it right that your father should know before anyone else. Is that a crime?" Martha eyed her daughter with pursed lips.

"No mother," Cora tried to keep her voice steady, however angry she was, she didn't wish to scream in the dining room. "It is not a crime, but it is none of your business, it is my marriage."

"None of my business?" Martha laughed, and was just about to continue when Cora interrupted her.

"Yes mother, none of your business. It should be me to tell my father if I am to be married, and to whom I am going to be married to."

"Well I'm sorry," Martha laughed, still not understanding why Cora was so upset about it. "But what difference does it really make?"

This was it, Cora thought, this was when she had to tell her mother of her decision. "Actually mother, it does matter."

"Why? Why, does it matter?" Martha put down the coffee she had been drinking and instead paid full attention to her daughter.

"Well, I have been thinking, a lot I might add, and well, I've come to the decision that I don't want to marry Edward Lawson," Martha's eyes widened at Cora's words, "because, you see mother, I don't think he would make me happy as much as-"

"Robert Crawley!" Martha snapped. "Is this what this stupidity is all about?"

"Well partly, I just think that he might make me happier." Cora began to shrink into herself as her mother raised her voice.

"That is nonsense Cora, absolute nonsense. You cannot base a marriage purely on looks and charm, you have to look to the future."

"And what if that future holds nothing but misery?" Cora countered.

"Oh stop being so melodramatic Cora. Do you really think you would be miserable being a Duchess? Because I doubt that very much. And anyway, it is too late for all this rubbish. I have told your father, and other members of American society, if I withdraw now it will make me look like a fool."

"Well that is your problem, isn't it mother? Maybe you shouldn't have jumped to conclusions." Cora's voice was rising now, and she was so grateful that the butler wasn't in the room.

"Jumped to conclusions? You agreed that you would marry him Cora, don't forget that." Martha's stare bore into her daughter, and Cora knew that her mother was getting angry because her brow was furrowed.

"Yes, well that may be so, but I could have still changed my mind, my decision wasn't set in stone. People call of engagements all the time, even when they have accepted a proposal. Which brings me onto another thing, he hasn't proposed mother! How can you be so sure that he was actually going to ask me anyway?" Cora sat up straight in her chair, sure that she was right this time, but the wry grin on Martha's face told her different.

"Oh I can be sure Cora, because I have been conspiring with the current Duchess of Suffolk." Martha looked very smug at her declaration, and by the shocked look on Cora's face she knew that her daughter knew nothing about this.

"What? I didn't even know you were acquainted!"

"Well, we are. And have been for weeks now. After you and Edward showed a certain interest in each other, the Duchess thought it appropriate to become acquainted with the family. I thought that they got lawyers to do it normally, but she wanted to know firsthand. And anyway, in her last letter, she assured me that Edward is going to propose to you." Martha wore a championed look on her face at her success, and she marvelled in it.

"That may be so," Cora replied, "but I don't have to accept."

"Yes you do." Martha shouted. "You will accept, I have already given her my word that you will."

"Well you haven't given her mine." Cora retorted, standing up from her seat.

"That doesn't matter Cora, you will marry him." Martha stood so she was face to face with Cora.

"And if I don't want to?"

"Then you will learn to Cora, you will be a Duchess. And I want no more talk of Robert Crawley." Martha snapped, and turned on her heels and began to exit the room.

"Robert Crawley would still make me a Countess." Cora shouted back at her Martha and made her pause in the doorway.

"Enough Cora. Enough."

"But-" Cora said, almost pleadingly, taking a step towards her mother.

"No Cora, I forbid it. And so would your father. You know better than this." Martha looked upon her daughters slumping frame and knew the only way to bring her daughter around was through comfort. So she went over to her daughter and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "You will thank me for this one day, I'm doing this for you. You don't love Robert Crawley, and under these circumstances you must chose a marriage that will most benefit you and your children. And this is it. Edward Lawson is going to propose, Robert Crawley may not propose, from what I hear he is quite keen on a Miss. Catherine Walker." Martha watched the remaining glisten in Cora's eyes extinguish. "So don't you see, we must go for a certainty?"

**A/N- Sorry for the slow update, hope everyone's enjoying it so far, and I'm just warning you, this is going to be a long fic with many ups and downs**


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